A good sex toy is a few things: It’s fun. It’s effective. And it’s (generally) long-lasting. A truly excellent sex toy, though, is all of these things — and it’s also easy on the eyes. (We’re talking pretty-enough-to-leave-out-on-your-nightstand-without-giving-it-a-second-thought pretty.)
Since a sex toy’s chief purpose is to turn you on, you obviously don’t want to opt for something that leaves you feeling weirded out (or worse, grossed out) every time you look at it. But being discreet or inoffensive in appearance is the least a sex toy can do. Exceptional toys — the toys you swear by, recommend to your friends and buy time and time again — do more than the bare minimum. They delight. They entrance. They stun so thoroughly that you may find yourself tempted to adorn every corner of your house with them like your home is a funky little sex museum. And in some cases, the sex toys on offer are so pretty you actually could use them as decor (post-a healthy, product-recommended cleaning regimen!)
Some vibrators, dildos, and butt plugs are so excessively stunning that they manage to elevate the spaces they’re in. Their vibrant palettes, luxe materials, and sleek silhouettes complement the home aesthetic you’ve so carefully cultivated, rendering a room even more beautiful than it already is. They bring out the tones in the baubles around them. They add texture to arrays of decor. They brighten up otherwise-bare corners. And at the very, very least, they look fine — maybe even good — when lazily left atop a table, desk, or vanity.
Whether haphazardly strewn across a table or carefully assembled on a shelf, the following toys are sure to upgrade any corner of your home. And really, why not give them something to do while you’re not using them?
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Chakrub Natural Crystal Dildo
Display this rose quartz dildo alongside your favorite crystals and New Age-iest wares and prepare to take in the good vibes.
Rocks Off Mondri-Anne Bullet
If anyone asks, just tell them this is a rare Mondrian sculpture you scored at an auction. If they press further, let them know you didn’t realize he had a sculpture period either.
BASICS Powerful Mini Vibrator
Nestle this gold-tone bullet vibrator amongst any swath of baubles, and it’s sure to elevate the bunch. Plus, its versatile color will complement an array of decor — no matter how maximalist or minimalist in palette.
Crystal Heart of Glass
This stunning glass dildo is so pretty it comes with its own display case. Prop it up in a bare corner, and tell houseguests it’s a collectible fairy princess wand or an extremely kitchy work of art.
Hide & Play Lipstick Vibrator
Anyone who sees this incredibly discreet vibrator will assume its a large, shiny lipstick figurine. Because let’s be real, it looks a lot more like that than like a sex toy.
Aneros Tempo Stainless Steel Anal Stimulator
This stainless steel anal probe is pretty enough to display anywhere in your house. Not to mention, its neutral palette lends it a near-universal versatility — making it a fit for any aesthetic.
Icicles Glass Wave Heart Butt Plug
A butt plug this pretty can (and should!) be appreciated. The heart-shaped silhouette — and high-quality millennial pink glass — are too adorable to pass up.
Rianne S. Heart Vibe
Most of this article is dedicated to toys that are vibrators first, home decor second. But this sleek heart-shaped vibe is so excessively pretty that it might be fair to call it home decor first and a sex toy second.
Starlight Gems Booty Boppers
Does the corner of your nightstand need a little more sparkle? Scatter these glittery butt plugs around like sparkly statues, mixed and matched at different heights. The result will be dynamic, enchanting, and undeniably out-of-the-box.
Since this bullet vibrator can really only sit on its side, it may require a little creativity in the curated display department. That said, it’s so pretty and sleek it’s well worth the effort.
This vibrator was designed to double as jewelry, and jewelry basically always looks good when displayed. Don’t worry about making the case for this toy’s aesthetics — it already makes the case for itself.
Lovehoney First Time Fun Vibrator Starter Kit
Each piece in this sex toy collection is cute on its own, but they look even more adorable when combined.
Doc Johnson American Bombshell Realistic Butt Plug
This butt plug may be obviously phallic in appearance. But thanks to its sleek silhouette and sophisticated palette, you could convincingly argue that it’s a statue — or at the very least, a paper weight.
This textured toy looks like a rare, treasured geode at first glance —making it a unique piece for your collection. Bonus points if you display it next to any actual antiques or crystals.
Wascally Wabbit Vibrator
If you squint, this admittedly intense vibrator really just looks like a fancy retro telephone. It’d be a shame to keep that buried in your bedside drawer.
Amour Remote Control Love Egg Vibrator
This egg vibrator is cute on its own. But paired with its heart-shaped remote control, it hits next-level adorable. Throw this pair anywhere, and trust your home will look slightly lovelier once you do.
Bumpy Bubbles Anal Plug
This vibrant pink butt plug is pretty enough to adorn any shelf in your house. Plus, its built-in flared base will allow it to stand up all on its own, making it a surprisingly self-sufficient piece of decor.
Petite Sensations Plug
This butt plug looks more like a small sculpture than a sex toy. You may have to get a little creative in figuring out how to display it, but once you do, it’ll act as a miniature work of art.
Luxe Jeweled Butt Plug Set
These plugs look pretty standing up — and even prettier sitting down. Mix and match them to create a layered display, and call it an art installation.
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